Измени себя — изменится Мир вокруг

Chapter 8. Happiness of Motherhood

женщина, беременность

I have seen many women who did not want to have
children and then were terribly sorry about this.
And I know neither of women, who gave birth
to a child and regretted it at least once.
Oksana Onisimova

As a rule, after learning about the pregnancy, women are beginning to focus on the problems and deprivations, associated with the birth of a child (especially it concerns those readers, who have already thought about abortion). They see before them a lot of problems and do not see joy. Unfortunately, there is already formed a whole generation of women, who do not understand, what happiness of motherhood is.

On the forums, women quite sincerely ask such questions like: “I read so much about the sufferings in pregnancy, childbirth... and so on, and a lot of my friends told about this.

Many women complain that it is very hard ... I have a simple question: is the child really worth it? Pain, health damage, long break in career (I will not leave my child for babysitters), deprivation of all past habits? What joy can you get from motherhood; will not you feel sorry to lose it all? Sometimes I think that my friends feel sorry about life without children”.

Television and Internet popularly explain, what a woman will lose, when becomes a mother: the opportunity to be free and enjoy life. Information about what gives motherhood, on the contrary, is extremely rare. But you can always look at the world differently. Someone has focus on limitations, but someone on the new opportunities.

Motherhood is an opportunity, having thrown out of life “empty husks” and having realized that happiness does not lie in new heels or trendy parquet, to realize, on what nonsense most of us are wasting lives. And it does not mean that small, everyday joys will disappear altogether, they will remain, but the joy of another depth will add to them.

Thanks to the baby, you will have to learn to manage your own time, living three lives instead of one. The mother cannot afford to waste time on nonsense, and those joys that will still remain will be in many times more valuable. Out of all hobbies, whatever they may be – books, movies, communicating with friends, she will learn to choose only really worthwhile and meaningful, to make choices, and to fill her time only with valuable things.

Motherhood is a new view of the world, which allows to see through the patterns and stereotypes, to see people - but not their clothes, success or status, and to stop wasting time on empty talk with empty people, devoting time only to those, who are really close, and leaving those, who is not worth your time and life.

It is a whole world that opens a lot of new: girls with tattoos, fans of football teams, youth television series, pink plush pony… Mother’s world is becoming wider, deeper, and her view of reality become more holistic, despite the fact that she could like not all facts, included in her life. Maternity is the destruction of illusions.

Child will never live up to expectations and it will make you realize how foolish it is to plan. Kid will give a great ability to take life in its momentary joy and frustration, learn to love life sharply and every second, but not living in the marketing gloss.

Unfortunately, nowadays women have forgotten how to love without demanding anything in return. Love for a child is unconditional, it is not selfish, and precisely this love gives happiness, allowing to forget about your own limitations. Mother loves her children, always forgiving and always wishing them good. In the most mediocre human being, his own mother, among other things, no doubt, will always see qualities of perfection, will always believe in their presence, and thus will help them to open up, also finding happiness in this. Mother’s love is, in fact, the internal lighting strength to support another creature in his desire to be and to come true.

Not a single woman, having born her child, can remain the same as she was before pregnancy. Every child, developing in the physical and subtle body of his mother, necessarily affects them. And the mother does not protect her internal medium; she allows all these changes, accepting them. In the process of the spiritual practice of our personality, our bodies are also transformed, but the ego is always on guard of their constancy, striving to preserve the previous form and not to give up its positions. Expectant mother feels quite comfortable that she becomes absolutely different person under the influence of the direct impact of the one, who came to be her child.

Just as pain and fear are the two sides of the same coin, love and wisdom are the two inseparable hypostases of the same perfection. Loving, unselfishly a priori, definitely loving the child, the mother is superior to her limitations that pop-up in the upbringing of her child. This love gives her patience and wisdom.

Motherhood makes a woman strong. Protecting her baby from many circumstances of life, from the temptations, enticements and falls, she can become a whole person, able to say “no” and “yes” in spite of circumstances and influences, where a sense of the necessity of this for the good of her child dictates her. So she becomes strong and bold. She becomes persistent, helping her child and supporting him, cultivating in him belief in his strength and abilities. Developing together with the child, she grows in herself a lot of new qualities. These qualities, maturing and developing in the mother, make her soul mature, that is, able to see things in a clearer light, distinguish transient and essential values.

Every woman has a choice – to cling to her values, expectations, and plans, illusions or by taking the challenge of life, begin to learn, to change, to grow.

Motherhood is a real treasure trove of opportunities, discoveries, jewels and lessons. And yet it is a great experience for your soul. The experience is really valuable, perhaps even priceless. There are no and even cannot be analogues of this transformation. No personal growth, psychology, and even “spiritual” development can replace it.

Motherhood is the best training for personal growth and the best spiritual practice for women that makes not just “to know” something, but also to use it round the clock, and to live as it is written in books. It is not easy, but it's worth it.